The Fast-Forward Life
February 16, 2007 by Icca
Kata temen gw, skrg ini gw lg menjalani hidup yg ‘Fast Forward’,, maksudnya gw ngejalani hidup without being in it,, jd jiwa gw lost ntah kmn,, kaya’ org bengong sepanjang hari, setiap hari,, *untungnya gw ga kesambet ato bikin ayam tetangga gw pd mati*,, itu tuh kaya di filmnya Adam Sandler, CLICK,, dimana dy ngelewatin waktu tanpa ngerasa ngelewatinya,, where life just passes by,, that happen to me right now,, itu yg bikin gw ga taw hari ini hari apa, tanggal berapa, jam berapa,, yg berakibat gw ga inget ultahnya temen gw, gmn maw inget lha liat tanggalan aja g pnh,, bener-bener Blank!,, Unconscious,, ga ada hal yang bikin gw happy, marah, kesel, bahkan kmrn pas valentine’s day,, gw ga beli apa-apa bwt cowok gw,, dan pengen taw inisiatif cowok gw tercinta itu di hari kasih sayang kmrn?,, dan tebakan gw ga meleset sedikit pun,, he didn’t give me anything,, and we didn’t do anything,, I wasn’t mad at him,, or disappointed,, pdhal selama gw pacaran ma dy,, ini pertama kalinya kita valentine’an bareng,, gw jd bingung sendiri? Sempet siy gw mikir I shouldn’t be disappointed cause somehow I accept him the way he is,, toh jg pada akhirnya klo gw nikah ma dy,, *Insyaallah*, gw bakal ngelewatin tgl 14 Februari ma dy bertaon-taon,, dan masa rasa syg hanya diungkapkan pd satu hari selama setaon?!Rugi banget donk,,
Yang gw rasa, at least what I said to myself adalah,, gw harus bisa belajar nerima hidup yg akan gw jlni ma dy,, termasuk hidup serba susah dan prihatin,, tp klo kt ga ngerasa bahagia,, apa kita jg harus nerima?!!
Gw ga taw gmn caranya menghentikan Fast-Forward Life that I’m having,, apa karena gw terlalu bosen ma hidup gw,, pdhal gw ga ngerasa klo hidup gw ini monoton,, tp ntah knp gw ga bisa menikmatinya,, seperti melayang-layang di atas awas,, tertiup angin ke kanan dan ke kiri,, tapi tak pernah pergi jauh,, tak pernah juga jatuh ke bumi,, tetap melayang di atas awan,, tanpa arah,,
Apa mungkin gw dah kehilangan arah tujuan hidup gw,, I don’t know what I want in this life,, what I want to be,, I don’t have any dreams, or ambition,, Mungkin gw harus mundur dari kancah kehidupan Icca sehari-hari,, be free,, have some adventures or something,, I don’t know just be gone for awhile,,
Anyway, gw jd ngomong ngelantur ga keruan gini,,
Happy Valentine’s Day for you all,,
I’m looking for a way to feel you hold me
To feel your heart beat just one more time
I’m reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
To let them go a little more each day?
The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn’t waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we’ve lost
The hurting at the end
I’d go there again,
´cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
(Beautiful-Jennifer Paige)
